Insert needle, pull thread, repeat. Insert needle, pull thread, repeat. These motions have overwhelmed the majority of my past week working at Centro Nôs Kaza. We have spent some time with the children, but most of our work has consisted of sewing…sewing little flowers, sewing the flowers together, sewing the flowers onto large pieces of cloth. I lose myself in the monotony of the motions, but when my mind resurfaces, I am inundated with feelings of guilt and confusion regarding how I am contributing meaningfully to the center and the lives of the children there. Wrestling with these thoughts, I have felt unsettled and discouraged throughout this week. Then Saturday arrived, and we returned to the Emergency Center for the afternoon. As I sat on the picnic table waiting for the children there to wake up from their rest, I caught a glimpse of bright eyes and a wide smile before I was almost pushed off the table with the force of her hug. As I held her, I felt a wave of contentment and hope settle over me, for my relationships with this girl and the other children at the centers are what makes my work truly meaningful. As I left the Emergency Center, I began to consider the difference between my work and feelings that Saturday and my work and feelings during my week at Centro Nôs Kaza. I realized that I feel my direct work with the children to be more meaningful because I can see the immediate positive impact of my time with them. However, as I sew little flowers, I cannot see a direct impact past inserting the needle, pulling the thread, and repeating. I have not thought of the money that the sewing project could bring to an understaffed, underfunded center working to empower local youth. While I still feel that sewing does not capture the full extent of what I could offer to this center, I need to think more critically of the positive impacts that will develop over time from my work there, impacts that are different but perhaps not less meaningful than those I can see immediately with my own eyes.
