The week began with pure dread. I awoke on Monday reluctantly, knowing the classes I had to teach this week would be difficult, time-consuming, and likely overwhelming. The thought of teaching middle schoolers how to make a circuit, as well as an eventual flashlight, and ensuring the process went off without a hitch seemed near impossible, not to mention intimidating as Girls Inc. donors and DukeEngage higher-ups meandered through our classrooms unannounced. This dread wore off as Monday trod on, my classes going fine. About midday I volunteered in the ninth graders’ elective class, a photography lesson with a woman in the profession. The class walked downstairs to take some photos with natural lighting, working in groups. I didn’t honestly have much to do in the moment, so I watched the girls take pictures and posed for a few, noticing one girl on her phone standing away from her classmates. She was visibly reserved, out of character for her. She hadn’t formed many friendships in the ninth grade group within the first week, so this wasn’t necessarily odd, but I walked over and asked if everything was alright. I didn’t want to probe, but she shook her head and tears welled in her eyes, a sight I yearned to comfort and so desperately wanted to amend. Days before, this particular camper had a confrontation with her “friends” – a duo of tenth grade angsty girls – at Knott’s Berry Farm when she felt uncomfortable with their inappropriate and explicitly Girls-Inc-illegal behavior. I felt her pain and silently agonized with her, remembering the numbers of friends I’d lost throughout my grade school career for whatever reason was fitting at the time. When the class ascended the stairs to continue the lecture, I confided in another staff member my concerns for the camper, affirmed in my thoughts by her agreement and offer to talk to her individually. Though a small encounter, it was the first time I truly felt accountable for the wellbeing and betterment of these kids, realizing they’re going through the same chaos that is high school and all of the travesties I endured just a few years ago.
