As I finish my fourth week of interning, I am able to reflect on what this experience has made clear for me as it pertains to the direction of my future endeavors. My epiphany can be summarized as follows- I have no idea what I want to do with my life. My deep conviction that I was meant to do something big and meaningful has shifted.
As I have progressed through my internship, making Excel spreadsheets and putting together resources for postgraduates to learn about fellowships, my definition of impactful has evolved. No, I am not inventing something even better than the iPhone. I am also not serving as the President of the United States, as if that’s even impressive anymore. However, I do have the capacity to make a meaningful impact in the lives of the people around me. For example, my boss has a lot on her plate, as any badass attorney does. Putting together that guide for postgraduates gives her more time to make an impact in the lives of her clients. It could also help someone get a fellowship that lets them make their own significant contributions.
Looking into the day-to-day functions of a law firm have made me realized that there are a variety of ways to make an impact. These include the secretarial work and other small contributions that help an office run as smoothly as possible. Magnifying and examining my notions of what is meaningful, has led me to understand that a large part of what I consider to be purposeful is the dedication to the work you do. You may be making a spreadsheet, or working on a case that will keep a family in their home. In each instance you do what you can to put your best effort into the task in front of you. Instead of just making a spreadsheet, you make an awesome one. That effort is telling of what you are capable of within your work and yourself.
I realized that what makes something worthwhile to others is relative. This has led me to see that the path I take in the future must be worthwhile to me as well. This realization has caused my sight into my future to become a lot blurrier. I recognize that I have many passions, but I have no idea how to channel them into a fulfilling future for myself. That uncertainty is terrifying, but surprisingly refreshing.