As the title, things don’t always go as expected. It happens everywhere. Once I got accepted to Duke, I thought my life was set and everything is going to be perfect. Turns out, life is still complicated, school is still hard, and the world isn’t Utopia yet.
Same with DukeEngage. When I first got into the program, I imagined the Utopia version of what DEOC would look like. Fun exciting days with the girls, becoming friends with my other DukeEngagers as well as the staffs at Girls Inc, spending the weekends exploring Los Angeles or sunbathing on the beach, and perhaps reading a few books. But as expected, many of those did no go as planned. I’m definitely having fun with the girls, but being on the other side of the classroom for the first time isn’t too easy. I can’t just have fun, I have to get through the class and make sure the girls are somewhat engaged as well (giving so much more respect to teachers, professors, and any facilitators now that I’ve seen this side). I’ve definitely gotten closer with some of the staffs, but some staffs are just harder. The difference in how we work, how we react and solve issues, and how we interact with others cause an inevitable barrier that makes coworkers different from friends. Weekends are spent mostly on catching up on sleep and planning for the next week. I’ve read half a book, so I’ll count that as a semi success.
Nothing really went as I imagined, but is it really a surprise? I knew from the start that not everything can go perfectly as planned, but I didn’t know where the hazard zone was. But I guess that the perk of life. We go on as enjoy what we can and prepare for what’s next to come. I certainly have days where I would think of the alternative “what ifs” –what if I didn’t decide to come to Duke, what if I decided to do something other than DukeEngage this summer–when things don’t go the planned, imagined way. But in the end I come to the conclusion that all those “what ifs” would only taunt the past and the only thing I can do is enjoy the present and prepare the future 🙂