Bad moods are my worst enemy. If my life were a movie, which I am pretty convinced it is at times, then bad moods would be my arch nemesis. Usually a few comforting words from a friend or some sunshine cure are the perfect cure for storms in my head. This past weekend, though, not even ice cream could do the trick. (Does anyone remember the pizza episode of SpongeBob where, at the end, Squidward throws the pizza in the man’s face for being mean to Spongebob? Well, I felt like life was throwing a pizza in my face.)
I could not see the good in anything, no matter how hard I tried. I could not see the effort of my host father trying to show me places besides school where I could eat breakfast in the mornings. I was not able to bask in the beauty of the places with incredible scenery that my host family took me to. I could not appreciate the silliness in the way Rex acted with his closest friend, who I was able to meet on Monday. I was blind to the beauty of the dessert and fruit bar at dinner one evening (it’s still a meal if all I ate was watermelon and ice cream, right?). I could not bear to look past my annoyance when I had to sit through a movie whose main language and subtitles I could not understand. I wanted to complain about everything in a manner which would solve nothing. I wanted everyone to leave me alone and for all my responsibilities to vanish.
I thought the cure would be sleep. I thought the cure would be ice cream 5 times a day. Nothing helped.
Fast forward to Wednesday where I am teaching the students about sports. Completely drained emotionally from the weekend, I felt fatigued all morning. I was beginning to wonder if I would never be able to kick this cloud in my mind. Then it happened.
There is one student named Coco who screams my name and runs to hug me each time she sees me. Even if it is multiple times a day, she will, without fail, run and scream and hug and sometimes kiss me on the cheek.
Wow. Is that how people feel when I run and scream and hug them? (I hope.) Am I really that loud of a person? (Most likely.) Does personal space exist? (Nope.)
The clouds parted and the sun, figuratively and (sadly) literally, came out as bright and warm as ever. I giggle every single time Rex is near me living his goofy life. He is the perfect mixture of teenage boy and pure child: in his own world mentally but here physically. (Who other than a teenage boy would lose a pencil case then have a life crisis when the new pencil case his mom gets him has too much pink?) I am not necessarily appreciating the weather, but summer has always meant 24/7 ice cream and iced coffee in my mind.
The lessons went fantastically this week! The students are beginning to let their guards down which allows me to bond with them more!!
I am a human founded upon bonding and sunshine and hugs. This student, without knowing, has helped me survive the week. Complaining isn’t fun and neither is being in a bad mood. I thought all the ice cream in the world or maybe a nap would fix my mood this weekend, but I think I was simply forgetting what my purpose is here. Sure, I would like to change the world and all that, but for now, I am here to be here.
I am here to try random breakfast places with my host family. I am here to try and explain the plot of X-Men The Last Stand to Rex with the most simple English I know and without speaking too quickly (even though I get SOOOOO pumped about X-Men). I am here to laugh with kids when they teach me Chinese and I take 4-6,000 tries to get one pronunciation correct. I am here to scream with and to be screamed at, to hug and be hugged, and to sometimes get a kiss on the cheek.
P.S. I would appreciate everyone who reads this to please be proud of my little brother for graduating from high school on Friday!! We are super far apart but that didn’t stop me from setting an alarm and watching him make a speech and get his diploma! Yay family!!!