DukeEngage | Duke Center for Civic Engagement

This weekend, we all (all 8 Pro-Mexico kids) went to Puerto Escondido.  That place is like a dream.  We found this small beach that was in a cove.  It was incredibly beautiful.  You walk down several flights of stairs to get to it.  We were down on the clear-water beach surrounded by cliffs covered in trees and flowers.  It was fantastic.  One morning, I went on a tour and got to see sea turtles (it’s mating season, by the way, so that was a sight) and a big school of dolphins.  It was so cool!  ☺

Monday, we got back later than expected because the highway was blocked.  As I sat on the bus an extra three hours and became increasingly late for work, I thought, “Wow, in these past two summers I may have just learned something!”  Now, what might that be?  Patience.  I wasn’t even mad that we were going to be three hours late.  In fact, I wasn’t even surprised.  You have to be ready for these things if you are traveling in South and Central America.  Things are just different.  I was glad that I have grown out of the anxiety that I used to feel when things didn’t go the way I expected.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I helped with a little girl named Sheila.  Sheila is six, and she has Downs Syndrome.  We worked on learning shapes all day.  I was surprised about how much she already knew and how quickly she learned.  I also worked with Octavio.  He is learning disabled, and he had a very hard time with this shape puzzle we were working with.  This was a different type of test of patients.  It is hard to understand why someone can’t understand something that seems simple.  I never take time to think, “Wow, I’m grateful for my functioning brain and my ability to learn.”  I don’t think most people do, but we definitely should. 

Yesterday, the funniest thing happened.  I came home from work at 1:45 and talked to my parents.  My mom had surgery yesterday, so I was nervous all day, but everything went well.  So, relieved, I decided to take a little nap before I ate lunch at 3.  When I woke up, I washed my hands and headed down for lunch.  Every day that I’ve been here, we have eaten lunch at 3.  Every single day.  And Socorro told me we always would.  So imagine my surprise when I stumble down from my nap and realize I am home all alone!  I was so confused!  I looked around the house, but nobody was home!  I looked in the kitchen, and there was no food.  So, I decided to go sit on the couch and figure out this predicament.  I sat straight up in the middle of the couch and began to think about what I would do about having no food.  Then, I started laughing.  How pathetic am I that I don’t know how to find food for myself!  How helpless!  It was very funny that I didn’t know what to do about having no food…I mean, come on.  I feed myself three times a day every day at home!  I decided that I could either go to the grocery store and get food or stop and grab something on the way to school.  But first, I thought, I would wait until 3:15.  So I sat.  At 3:14, Socorro walked through the door.  I thought, “Oh crap!  Get up!  You’re so pathetic sitting in the living room by yourself waiting for food!!!”  I stood up and walked towards my bedroom.  But, by the time she got in, I had only made it in the kitchen.  So, we met in the kitchen, and it looked like I had been standing in the kitchen waiting for food.  This is the only place I could have been standing that would seem more pathetic than sitting by myself in the living room.  She was very apologetic, and I assured her it didn’t matter at all…but it was too late.  She had already seen me acting like a sad, hungry puppy.  She told me we would eat in 10 minutes, so I went upstairs and got my bag ready to leave for class (because I had to leave at 3:50).  Then, I had absolutely nothing to do, so I went ahead and sat at the table…ya know, thinking it was almost time to eat.  Wrong.  Gerardo (my host brother) had to bring the food, and he still wasn’t home.  So, I continued to sit pathetically at the table for 15 more minutes.  She felt bad—clearly because it seemed like I was so utterly dependent and she hadn’t been there.  I ate at 3:35, and headed out the door, assuring her it didn’t matter to me when we ate.  Mostly, I was embarrassed of my temporary helplessness and was attempting to reclaim a little bit of pride.  Today, I’m going to go to dinner with friends to prove my ability to feed myself!  Haha…I am still laughing at myself over this situation.

And now, all the sudden, it’s Wednesday!  I feel like this week is going so fast!  Crazy… 
 

We just did a menaje a la bandera.  This is a custom that we don’t have in US.  Basically, all the kids and all the teachers go outside to salute the flag.  It starts with a few kids marching around with the flag while a song played.  Then, another song played and everybody did it in sign language.  Then, there was a really long pledge, and everyone held their right arm straight out.  Finally, they played another song, and everyone had to march around the basketball courts while it played.  Literally march.  It took about 20 minutes, and every school does it every Monday.  No wonder Mexicans are so patriotic!

Today I went with the older kids to the market in Zimatlán.  On Wednesdays, everyone in Zimatlán goes to market, and the teachers wanted to teach Bernardo (a 29-year-old who is blind and deaf) to go to the market so he can take care of himself.  The markets here are crazy, but I like them.  The fruit smells so good, and they sell EVERYTHING!  It’s cool that they still have markets here to go to instead of only grocery stores.

I talked to the psychologist at the school where I work today about what I should be doing.  Developing a sex ed curriculum and teaching it before school ends next Thursday isn’t so feasible.  So, instead, I’m going to be just making the curriculum, along with a couple of other things, to give to them.  Then, either the teachers or the next person who comes to volunteer can teach it.  I think it’s going to work out a lot better.  Plus, I want to feel like I made progress and actually helped.  Currently, it doesn’t feel like that very much, so it’ll be really good to make stuff.  Then, I’ll have something physical to turn in.  I feel better with a more clearly defined task.  I don’t wont to be worthless…I really came to do something to help.  Now I feel like I just might do something helpful!  :)  I probably wouldn't have said anything to him about feeling overwhelmed, but that was one of the situations we covered in the DukeEngage prep sessions.  I'm a lot happier because I took DukeEngage's advice!

I haven’t talked enough about my new friend Bernardo.  He is 29-years-old, blind, deaf, and mute.  He’s very smart though.  I touch his hand, and he spells my name in sign language to ask if it’s me.  My name is very hard to learn in Spanish. 

Last Friday, all the teachers and I went to his house because he’s having trouble at home.  He has four younger siblings, and two of them are also deaf.  Like Bernardo, Brisia (16) and Miguel (12) are slowly losing their sight.  They, too, will eventually be blind.  Despite the fact that she has 3 deaf children, Bernardo, Brisisa, and Miguel's mom isn’t willing to learn sign language, and frequently becomes very angry when she calls her kids to dinner and they don’t come.  She doesn’t really understand “deaf” I don’t think.  It’s the saddest thing.  She resents Bernardo because when he was younger, his father beat him.  He told the school, and his father got in trouble.  All of the teachers told me that Bernardo’s mom doesn’t love him.  It was kind of obvious that that was the case when we were at the house.  The teachers asked them to hug, and Bernardo put his arms around his mom, and she refused to hug him back.  His two sisters who can hear treat Bernardo poorly—he has to keep his money at school because they steal from him.  (Yes, besides the fact that he is blind and deaf, he still manages a job digging at a farm after school every day.)  Also, the family is very poor.  Their bedrooms are indoors, but they spend most of their time in the kitchen/living area that is outside between the bedrooms.  It is a dirt floor, flies are everywhere, and the animals all live in there with the people.  Chickens, cats, goats, and turkeys walk around with them.  It smells like a dairy farm because cows live close.  It’s so sad.  Bernardo’s big request was that someone eat with him because he eats all his meals alone.

To be blind is very sad in itself.  To be deaf is very sad.  To be mute is sad.  Poverty is sad.  To not be loved by your mother is sad.  To be abused by a father is sad.  To be lonely is sad.  Any one of those things is enough to send many Americans into self-pity.  Yet, Bernardo somehow manages despite all of this.  It makes my problems seem very small.

I got home and told Socorro (host mom) about the day.  She told me that you have to come home and wash the sadness off of you.  I imagine that is the case if you live here and see these things everyday.  It isn’t quite the case for me.  I came to get some perspective.  I feel so grateful for the life I lead.  It is good for me to reflect on the sadness.  I wonder if I’ll ever really understand it, though.  Probably not.  I feel like I note that it’s sad, but I don’t feel the pain like they do here.  Not having to “wash off the sadness” is a luxury.  I have it because I’m leaving in six weeks to go back to a world where I won’t have to look at this anymore.  Is that how it should be?  Doubtful.  But it is.  Es asi.

An update on my well-being…I am happy.  I like it here now.  I knew that was coming.  The poverty is a shock, and the culture changes are a shock.  But I live well here.  And I am grateful for that, too.