Leccion de Surfear #1
Today´s main attraction: 2 hour surf lesson
But first, an 8AM run as a prelude
After getting my ass kicked in our run down the beach and up to the church, we got a big breakfast at ¨My Friend¨ and headed over to surf lessons. The first thing we did was put on wet suits (since it´s winter in Peru and the water is cold). As I am in the back room buck naked with Mannie, I put my right foot in a plastic bag before putting it into the wet suit so it will go through without tearing skin/hair. Unexpectedly, I could not get my foot through the tight end of the suit so I push and pull harder until I finally manage to get my foot and heel through. As I moved the plastic bag over to my left foot and smoothly slide into the left leg of the suit, I had a minor, life changing epiphany: ¨I think my right leg might be in the right arm of the suit... SHIT!¨ I cooly and calmly bend over and tug on the suit around my right ankle; no hope, it´s as tight as a tourniquet. I then take my left leg out of the suit so I could sit down on the bed and pull the entire suit of fof my right leg. As i sat down and pull at my suit, I quickly begin to realize that I will not be able to get the suit off alone (because I can´t pull hard enough from my angle), and i begin visualizing the scene of butt naked Mannie pulling the suit off my naked ass and i start to panic. My blood pressure goes up, my face gets hot, I get sweaty, and I frantically pull at the suit in a last ditch effort to avoid the fate I was imagining. In the middle of my frenzy, I feel a few drops of blood come out of my nose and I realize that I must succumb to a possibly awkward confrontation with my friend Mannie. I sit down, take a deep breath, let my blood pressure down, and successfuly control my nosebleeding by sniffling and consider what I am going to say to Mannie. I had mentioned earlier to Mannie that I stuck my foot into the arm sleeve but I don´t think he expected by request: ¨hey Mannie, do you think you could ... uh ... help me get my leg out of this sleeve?¨ I say as calmly and cooly as I possibly can while sniffling a few times in between. Luckily, Mannie is a pretty chill guy and has a sense of humor (or doesn´t mind seeing my ass) and responds ¨yeah sure, just let me get my suit over my crotch¨. ¨Well atleast there will be one less naked guy in this situation,¨ I muse to myself as I wait patiently and wallowing in self pity.
So after Mannie manages to pull the suit arm sleeve off of my fat right leg in horse and hoof fashion (I pretty much bend over and raised my right leg), we all put on some booties (sic?, water shoes) and head out to the main event surfing lessons with Chicho.
In summary, we practiced on the sand like beached whales, then went out down-wave from the pier where the small waves are, and had instructors push us shore-ward while we attempted to stand up, and had locals gather and watch the stumbling gringo Normandy-ish invasion of the Peruvian shore.
In other words, I stood up by the fourth try and thought I was going to be a surfing legend despite the semi-embarassing start in the back closet of a surfshop.